standing letters

Do you notice every time you are in a conversation with people today the word “dieting” comes up? People, Marilyn Monroe was a Size 12. Think of all the people who are over a Size 14. Oprah and (R.I.P.) Aretha Franklin.

I can remember as a child mom giving us cod liver oil to get us to eat. We were not fat, then all of a sudden cream cheese and potato chips are leaving us squishy in the middle, chunky in the thighs and flabby in the back. A 1,000-calorie diet?

Heck, I eat that for breakfast.

We feel licking the bowl after baking has no caloric count and cookies left in the bottom of the bag have no calories. And, if someone gives you a box of chocolates, we have to eat the whole box, because there is a substance in them that perhaps enhances our well-being. (If there is no chocolate in heaven, I am not going.) I got an idea ... maybe we should eat dinner at 5:30 a.m. and work off those calories.

And in closing, if I am invited to your house for dinner, do not serve

me raw veggies with lemon, because I might faint going to my car. Just take me out for a steak dinner smothered in onions, twice-baked potato, rolls with butter and creme brule for dessert.

See you later. Off to speed-dial my personal trainer!

Gloria Birchell
Westerly

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